Coach Paradise is here to help people make the kind of changes that will allow them to live the lives they only dream of. Recently returned to her own tropical home, she is offering her services so that others can create paradise in their lives wherever they are. No concern is too big or small for her unique coaching approach which comes with compassion, creativity and a heartfelt desire to help others produce extraordinary results. If you have a question for Coach Paradise, please send it confidentially to her at [email protected].
Dear Coach Paradise
I have two gym memberships and I never go. I feel guilty about this and the fact is that I do want to take better care of my body. One of the memberships is to a womens circuit training program. I went there for about six months and it was good, but it got too easy for me. I kind of feel like I am cheating if I only go there. The other membership is to a full service gym with lots of equipment and classes, and I get confused, dont really know where to start, and what I have ended up doing hasnt produced any results. It feels too hard for me. I know that I want to get toned, get rid of that fat on my back and maybe lose five to 10 pounds. Why does it have to be so hard? Should I give up both memberships and admit that I am lazy, find something else to do or make a decision here? This may seem like a trivial question but for me it feels big.
Signed,
Buff Wannabe
Dear Buff,
Ill respond to Buff rather than Wannabe because I will hold you as Buffer than you hold yourself. That is what coaches are for. I was talking to a gym manager the other day and was told that a gym typically expects about 1/3 of the people who sign up to actually use their facilities and uses this calculation to plan staffing, classes and equipment needs! So, you can hang out in this gym netherworld or take a look at what is going on. The fact that you wrote to me lets me know that you want to do the latter.
Based on the way you describe going to the womens program as cheating and the other gym as too hard for me suggests that you have a conclusion that for an exercise program to produce results it has to be hard. No pain no gain? With this as a starting point you apparently have gathered a bunch of evidence to support this conclusion and show up (or in this case dont show up) as someone who runs kicking and screaming from this torturous scenario. How would it be if working out were fun and produced exactly the results you want? Are you willing to consider something along these lines as a replacement conclusion? Really, how would it be? I can hear your body in the background saying yes yes yes do it!
Did you realize that having this preconceived picture is what is keeping you from looking and feeling great and enjoying the process? Switch your head around. (Get a new conclusion.) Get support. Call that gym rat friend of yours and find out who the best trainers are at the gym. Best as in cutest, most knowledgeable, warm and supportive. Be clear about what you want from a gym experience (sauna anyone?) and clear that you need whatever you do to feel easy (but not so easy you are cheating) and produce results.
I can feel you getting psyched. As soon as we think "hard" and "struggle" that is what we get. It we can think something more interesting the world falls into place accordingly. Experiment with saying "what if this were fun and felt good and challenged me in an invigorating way." This is called playing "what if up." As opposed to the usual "what if down." You know what I mean. Keep me posted.
In fitness and in health,
Coach Paradise

Editor's note: Coach Paradise (aka Anne Nayer), Professional Life Coach, is a member of the International Coaching Federation, an MSW clinical social worker/psychotherapist, and a medical case manager with 30 years experience working with people of all shapes, sizes and challenges.
For further information about her services, call 774-4355.